Falling Apart

My house fell apart last week. Not physically, thank goodness, but emotionally. I left home for 24 hours. 24 hours. And most of those 24 hours were away from an empty house.

The morning I was to leave, both daughters were in VERY bad moods. I have NEVER heard so many cabinet doors slam shut because the hair clips could not be found, the brushes were missing, the hot chocolate was ALMOST gone, and the favorite shirt was not where it should have been. One sister was certain the other had taken a sock (no proof was shown). The school bus was going to be crowded. It was too dark outside (they catch the bus at 7 am). And on, and on, and on.

One child missed the bus and had to be driven to school – in silence. She refused to speak to me. And once I returned home, my husband could not find the books he needed to take to work (and then forgot to take them anyway). Wanted breakfast. Needed coffee. Couldn’t choose a tie.

So I left an hour later than planned, but I still left. Just to visit family for 24 hours.

And it was the most relaxing 24 hours I’ve spent in ages! I slept that night for 9 hours. I only took care of myself – no kids, no husband, no dogs, no guinea pig. No errands that MUST be completed, no work, no toting kids around, no housework, no cooking meals that go uneaten.

And then I returned. The closer I came to my turnpike exit, the faster I drove – because now I had things to do, places to go, kids to pick up and drive to lessons. And I haven’t stopped since. It’s been 3 days. I’m tired again. But given the chance, I'd do it all again.

Happy to Be Over 40

A friend of mine recently turned 40, and cried for days. But I’m happy to be over 40.

Up until high school graduation, you are considered a child. A dependant. An under age, under developed, naïve student who thinks a 30 year old is ancient.

Once you hit 18, you can vote and drive, and in some states, drink. You are a legal adult, ready for the “real life” or college or whatever have you. But 30 is still ancient.

At 29, you’ve probably graduated from college, perhaps have started a family, and are incredible awestruck that next year you’re hitting the big 3-0. Climbing up that age ladder faster than you could ever imagine! And aren’t you supposed to know what you’re doing by now? And now, 40 is very old and mature.

At 40, you’re in the middle of your life. Your children are more independent now, and God, how did I get this old so fast? What will I do for the rest of my life? Why don’t I know what I want to be when I grow up? The horror! I’m old! I’m now over the hill!

But wait…40 isn’t all that bad. Up until now, we’ve been climbing up the hill (so to speak). And 40 was at the top. But I prefer to think of 40 as the bottom. Once again, I’m one of the younger ones in my social group. I’ve begun a new year and a new era. I’ve joined classes to enhance my own personal life. I’ve begun living more for myself instead of my kids. I’m not struggling to climb the hill anymore. I’ve reached one peak, and am gliding to the next.

40 is great. I just hope the wind keeps up so I can keep on gliding!